Love Is Grand! What I’m Learning From My Children’s Marriages!

When Love Is Grand…!

As my husband and I celebrate our wedding anniversary today, I remember the words written inside a card he gave me on our anniversary a few years ago that truly touched my heart!

When I was in college, I would occasionally meet my father at his office so we could go to lunch together.  On one early, spring afternoon as my dad and I made our way across campus to the cafeteria, we couldn’t help but notice the overtures being made by many young couples as they demonstrated their love for one another.  In a kind, fatherly fashion, my dad put his arm across my shoulders and whispered in my ear with a little jest in his voice…

“Isn’t young love grand!” 

Indeed it is…but I understand better now, that my dad said this knowing that he was all too happy to be enjoying the seasoned love he shared with my mom that is developed over many years of marriage!

My husband and I have been married for a number of years, and like most couples, we continually strive to do better in our marriage!  Today however, I’d like to pay tribute to our children and their spouses and what I’m learning from their marriages.  One of the neat things about having older, married children, is that in so many ways, you are their peer as well as their parent!

Each of my children’s weddings were grand celebrations of their young love and as unique as their individual marriages!

What I’m Learning From My Children’s Marriages!

• Be calm and carry on! 

In other words, be the “easy” button, so to speak, as seen in the funny Staples commercials, where one person assumes the more intuitive role and creates a better situation for others.  When my husband exhibits concern, my anxiety level tends to intensify.  I’ve witnessed our children and their spouses sensing when one or the other of them needs to rise to the occasion and offer that calm sense of well-being that will help them both brave a worrisome time together.

• Chill out! 

My dad worked hard all his life, but always used good judgment as to when it was time to take a break.  My husband and I sometimes find it hard to know when it’s time to call it a day with projects we’re doing.  As a result, tempers can flare and mistakes are more probable.  I don’t know if it’s a generational thing, but my children and their spouses seem to inherently know when enough is enough.  I admire how they can put things aside and relax, or get cleaned up and then go do something fun together!

• It’s all good! 

We all have our quirks and idiosyncrasies, and I suppose that the longer we’re married those of our partner’s have a bit more potential to drive us a little berserk!  My children seem to naturally be able to focus on the good things they enjoy about their spouses, and although it’s easier said than done, if doing this becomes our habit, the traits we admire will always far outweigh the ones that annoy us. 

Last night, my husband and I were watching an interview being conducted with Barbara Bush, the wife of former President of the United States, George H.W. Bush.  When asked about what appeared to be their perfect marriage, she just laughed and said,

“Oh, believe me, there are times when George irritates me terribly, but I always respect him, and I’m extremely proud to be his wife!”

My parents were each other’s best cheerleaders through good times and bad–my husband and I try hard, year after year, to be more supportive of each other.  It gives me great joy to watch my children doing the same in their own marriages!

When love abounds, it does feel like we can conquer the world!  I hope it continues to be a great month of special expressions of love for everyone, and that they continue all year long!  

What makes love grand for you?  What important things are you learning in your relationships? 

  –Mary