Building Character

Celebrating Earth Day But Tweaking The Perspective A Little

Growing up, I watched the intimate relationship my dad had with the land on our wheat farm so he could provide a good living.  I saw first-hand how my father truly respected his little corner of the earth so to speak, and the deep sense of satisfaction he received from the hard work his farm provided.

For my father, each day he was able to spend tending to his farm was an “earth day” celebration of sorts.

He recorded the following in his autobiography…

“To go out to the farm in the spring with the birds, the sky, the soil and all the machinery and get everything going, and then to see the hills cultivated in such a nice way was very satisfying.”

In considering the events of the past week, perhaps we’d all be better served if we paused a minute, took a deep breath, and celebrated earth day by looking around us and realizing once again, that we truly are blessed!  We might ask ourselves, “Am I doing what I was put on this earth to do?”   (I know, maybe a little intense–it’s just where my mind has been lately.)

As I’ve said in this previous post, I often feel a deep sense of kinship with mother earth while working in my yard.  If I get discouraged or feel a bit overwhelmed, I literally turn to earth’s dirt to give me better perspective of what a wonderful place this world really is, and how fortunate I am to share a small part in it!

Happy Earth Day–Be Inspired By It’s Beauty!

I hope that these artful pictures taken by my daughter-in-law, Whitney Wilding, and my son-in-law, Cole Gibbons, (both beautiful photographers) help us all to remember again, that no matter what, we really can all work together to make this wonderful planet earth a better place to live!

Butterfly Conservatory in Buffalo, New York

Breathtaking view in Letchworth State Park, complete with rainbow!

Big Sur, California

Conservatory Garden in Central Park in New York City

  A beautiful view of lower Manhattan!  A view Cole and Mandi see each morning!

 A winter wonderland view of Central Park!

 Hurricane aftermath in New York City–Mother Nature reminds us of our vulnerabilities!

What I’m learning now is…

As we look around, it doesn’t take long to realize that we are indeed privileged to live here on earth.  What I’m learning now is that more often than not, it seems like it takes some sort of tragedy or unusual circumstances to startle our senses into helping us remember the fact that we truly are so blessed!  Getting older has helped give me a better appreciation for most things in life, and yet, we are all prone to take some things for granted.  

 

I’d love for you to share any photos or thoughts you have about this great place we call earth!

–Mary

Words Of Wisdom…Oh The Fun Of Learning From Our Children!

“Children have a way of making your life feel important!”  Erma Bombeck

My mom was a fan of the “words of wisdom” and satirical views on motherhood by the humorist and author, Erma Bombeck.   The quote above was written on a slip of paper that was kept on a book shelf by my mom’s desk in our family study.  Erma Bombeck was also the author of the quote:

“It goes without saying, never have more children than you have car windows!”

I like the Chinese Proverb:

“To understand our parent’s love, we must raise children ourselves!” 

So true, don’t you think?  Talk about building character!

One of my greatest hopes is that when it’s all said and done, in some small way, I’ve left the type of impression on my children that my father’s parents seemed to have left on him…

“I appreciate the fact that my childhood included so many things which seem to belong to that period of life.  I feel that my family, friends and all who touched my life, knowingly or unknowingly, did so in such a way as to give it direction…I acquired a value system which in spite of weaknesses, has saved me from serious mistakes and helped me reach up, in a measure at least, to what my better self was capable of becoming.”  

–from the history of LeRoy Jorgensen

Words of Wisdom From Our Children Help Define Our Lives, As Well As Theirs!

If you’ve read my about me introduction, you know that I have been a nurse on a women’s unit for many years.  This profession has allowed me the privilege of witnessing the birth of many babies.  After all these years, I am still in awe of all the amazing things that the birth process entails.  I’ll never forget the framed quote on the wall of the first Newborn Intensive Care Unit where I worked as a new nursing graduate.

“A baby is God’s opinion that the world should go on.”  Carl Sandberg  

Erma Bobbeck had a comical, if not wise take on motherhood…

“Giving birth is a set of contractions granting passage of a child, it is then that a mother is born!”

During my childhood and youth, I loved that my parents seemed to give as much credibility, if not more, to the dreams I had for myself, as they did the ones they envisioned for me.  Their motto for raising children seemed to follow the advice stated rather matter-of-factly in one of my favorite poems by Shel Silverstein, in his collection of poems and drawings entitled, “Where the Sidewalk Ends”. 

LISTEN TO THE MUSTN’TS

Listen to the MUSTN’TS, child

Listen to the DONT’S

Listen to the SHOULDN’TS

The IMPOSSIBLES, the WON’TS

Listen to the NEVER HAVES

Then listen close to me–

Anything can happen, child,

              ANYTHING can be!               

Some words of wisdom that my mom’s dad, my Grandpa Mecham, used to be fond of sharing was that, “Insanity is inherited, we get it from our children!”  I think any parent out there can certainly attest to the truth of this statement at some point during their tenure as parents.  My dad would also wax strong with a bit of wise counsel himself on occasion; they were words of wisdom that I did not fully appreciate until I had children of my own…go figure!?  Perhaps in trying to ease some seemingly tentative moments as a concerned parent, my father would lovingly lock me in a gentle neck hug, and tell me with an ample amount of jest that he and my mom loved me, and then he was always quick to add, “especially when you’re asleep!”

 What I’m learning now is…

It’s so cliché, but wise to recognize, that childhood can be a magical time and truly does go by in ‘a blink of an eye’ !  What I’m learning now is that much of our immortality does indeed seem to be found in the lives of our children.

Jake, Mandi and Malia Wilding (1987)  Where have the years gone?

What are some profound “words of wisdom” your children have shared with you over the years!  Let’s enjoy some good laughs and insights together!

“Becoming a grandparent is one of life’s rewards for surviving raising your own children!”  Erma Bombeck

–Mary

Building Character–Be Inspired By Your Family Tree

I never knew my paternal grandparents personally, since they passed away even before my parents were married.  The stories my dad shared about them always left me feeling a little awestruck at the close-knit bonds and deep respect my father felt for his parents and other relatives that helped settle the small town where I also enjoyed a wonderful childhood.  My dad recorded in his history that his father was six years old when his family left Norway to settle in America!  He writes that through the years, he came to realize that without exception they were honest, hardworking, thrifty people…..“I don’t know of one that I’m ashamed of or that I would hesitate to have my name linked to theirs…my family name became a source of pride to me and motivated me to watch myself so that in my living, I didn’t do something foolish to impinge upon the respected name my relatives had made!”

Since I was close to my dad, I always loved to hear the stories he shared about his own father.  My dad was the oldest child, so he became especially close to my grandfather as they worked together around their home and farm.  I love this particular portrayal of my Grandpa Jorgensen.

“My father and I had a special relationship with each other.  As I grew older, we spent much time working together both at our home and at the family dry farm.  I enjoyed working with my father–he was smart and capable of caring for the work by which he earned a living.  He was physically very strong and when on the job, he was seemingly able to do two men’s work.”  My dad further elaborates on the extent of his high regard for his father.  “Because so much of farm work was hard labor, tiring and requiring physical strength, dad was always a welcome companion.  At the farm we spent endless hours discussing every subject imaginable!”   Almost makes you want to jump on a dusty John Deere tractor if this type of relationship is the ultimate outcome!  I said “almost”!                                                                           

In an added appendix of my father’s history, there is a written account by my dad’s Uncle John, my grandpa’s younger brother.  He pays a tremendous tribute to his brother’s character!

“Nick was ten years older than me.  As I remember him, he was a clean living young man, no bad habits as I recall.  He was a hard-working man all his life.  As a teenager he was slim and not very tall.  Some of the neighbors used to talk to mother about this, they ‘sayd’ to her that she worked him too hard, but when he started growing he became taller and bigger than any of his boyhood friends.”  My dad’s Uncle John goes on to relate more about his brother, my dad’s father:  “He was very good to the needy and helped many caring for their sick and when death entered the homes, he was one of the first to help.  He was very popular with the young people of the town, he could have had almost any girl in town…but he groomed his horse and with a fine buggy, he would drive pretty regularly to see his girl, Mary Barnes.”  Mary Barnes became my Grandma Jorgensen.

Mary and Nicholi Jorgensen

Building Character Is An Ongoing Discovery Of What We Really Are

Obviously, what we find admirable in our ancestors is only part of the puzzle to building our own unique characters.  Hopefully, we are always in the process of evolving, while honoring the people and experiences that helped establish our core values.  My father was a man of little pretense; what you saw was what you got!  He was the real deal–he wasn’t often swayed to do things just to be “popular”!  One of my most favorite stories in my dad’s journal illustrates this point perfectly!  It makes me chuckle every time I read how he depicts the incident!

“One day Coach ‘Flash’ Nielsen asked me to help care for the equipment and things in the athletic department.  I immediately listed for him several other boys who would be better choices.  The foul smells of the locker room had long before caused me to shun the place.  Also, I’ve always been rather neat and orderly with my person and things; I had no ambition to be picking up after the heroes of the football field and basketball court.”  (My dad enjoyed participating in many sports on a more casual basis.  However, he was always good for a fun night out on the town!)

I wish I could say that throughout my life I was as resolute in standing my ground, particularly when it came to things that didn’t seem to have any real significant consequence on the outcome of what was most important in life!  Unfortunately, that’s not always been the case.  I’m glad that time and age have served me well in helping me understand, in a more precise fashion, who I really am!  (Hooray for the “perks” of getting a bit older–and hopefully wiser!?)

My dad states in his journal that one of the main reasons he finally listened to my mom and “chose” to write down some of his life’s experiences was that he had   “…enjoyed many things in life which perhaps only the very wealthy, or the most politically and socially strong and spiritually blessed people of the past have experienced…”  Since he didn’t necessarily see himself in any of these categories, that seemed reason enough to make a written record for those that followed after him.  In turn, maybe he’d help them glean, by some small measure, a glimpse into what they might be capable of achieving for themselves!

          —Learn from the past.  Plan for the future.  Live for today!–

What I’m learning now is…

When going through the process of living, we tend to believe that our experiences and viewpoints in life may not have any real impact on the generations yet to come!  But when thinking in terms of our families, what I’m learning now is that more than ever before, there seems to be a real need to feel connected and loved!  Who knows, we might even come to learn why we have some of the quirks that we do.  (In thinking about this, I’m often reminded of the stories we see highlighted in the news about people who are seeking after lost loved ones, as in this heartwarming story.)

What relatives do you share similar traits with the most?  If asked, what do you think a close family member would write about you?  (I know, this is hard to wonder about!)  I’d love to hear your family stories!

I hope that at the very least, this entry inspires all of us to keep some sort of journal so that future members of our family tree can read about our lives someday!

–Mary

Much love to some of the special “branches” of the Wilding Family Tree.  I am most fortunate to share in your amazing “life stories”!  Best blessings to all!