The Best Advice…For A Happy New Year!

The Best Advice…For A Happy New Year!

A brand new year seems like the perfect time for the second edition of my “Best Advice” series that was so well received when I posted the first one clear back in August of last year.  Whether you’re one to make New Year resolutions or not, (you can read why I’m not here!) perhaps the sage advice shared here by some more of my lovely friends, wise mentors and gracious family members will be the perfect catalyst that helps you find your passion and embrace the opportunities you’re given so that 2019 proves to be the best year of your life!  At the very least, let’s all vow to do something we’ve always wanted to do but never took the time to do it until now!

A New Year is 365 days of opportunity!

Advice To Help Kick Off The New Year!

Anticipating the beginning of a new year is sure to ignite the age-old debate of “resolutions vs. goals”!  Aren’t they really one in the same, you ask?  Well, I define a resolution as a firm decision to do or not do something–and therein lies the dilemma for me…too often people vow to completely change a behavior on the first day of a new year like some magic motivational switch is flipped at 12:01 on January 1st.  Resolutions seem to be indicative of an “all or nothing” approach; failure seems guaranteed.  Whereas, I see goals as less ridged and more meaningful intentions, where the commitment and effort required is more realistic, resulting in the improvement of a person’s overall lifestyle with lasting, long-term effects, despite some inevitable hurdles and setbacks.

Resolutions vs. Goals.

“Dream big.  Start small.  Act now.  Robin Sharma

I like the insight and advice my good friend and long-time neighbor, Alison, gives on the subject of setting goals.  She and her husband are serving a mission for our church in Sacramento, California, where they oversee approximately 180 young missionaries ranging from 18-20 years of age.

I love the New Year as a time to refocus on new goals and ways to live my best life.  I have come to appreciate the importance of goals even more since we have been serving our mission.  I’ve seen how those young people we work with who make a habit of setting goals and understanding that they truly help them progress in life, are not only the most productive, but usually the happiest, as well.  Goals that make us stretch, even a little bit, help us become better versions of ourselves.  A favorite piece of advice I offer our ever evolving group of missionaries is:

“We are striving for progression not perfection.”

(Scott and Alison Hymas with missionaries in Sacramento, California)

I love my career as a NICU nurse, and I work with some incredible neonatologists who are not only wise in the medical care they offer the precious preemies on our unit, they are very intuitive about life in general, which makes sense when you think about it, since they often see first hand how truly fragile life can be!  On one occasion, I commented to one of these physician’s, Dr. Shannon Jenkins, how his ability to really listen to the concerns of anxious parents seemed to calm their anxieties and allow the hospital personnel to do their job more effectively.  His reply renewed my desire to make sure my patients (or in this case, the parents of my patients) are a strategic part of the care plan.  Dr. Jenkins said, “Learning to listen is the first step in formulating the best care plan for each patient beyond their immediate medical needs.  As knowledgeable as we’d like to think we are as doctor’s, you don’t advance in your career if you do all the talking!”  He went on to elaborate that by listening, he learned how to better involve the families so that they felt like they had viable roles in the care of their sick little ones, despite the fact that touch and other stimuli often has to be restricted.

“One of the sincerest forms of respect…is actually listening to what another person has to say.”  Bryant McGill

As a nurse I also have the privilege of mentoring many student nurses as they work through their rotations in the various areas of the hospital.  It’s wonderful to see my profession through fresh, eager eyes on occasion–and truth be told, I’m often the one who learns as much, if not more, from these future candidates of an amazing career path.  One such opportunity came last year when I worked with Lauren, a darling 2nd year student who proved to be wise beyond her years in her innate ability to care for our little patients with ease, while still paying attention to all the meticulous little details that are so important to maintain in a NICU unit.  Lauren recently graduated and received her hard sought Registered Nurse status, so of course, I had to ask her to share her best advice for surviving a rigorous nursing program and life in general.

Here’s Lauren’s 3 key points on what helps her live a happier life:

1.  I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt.  I know I make many mistakes, most of them unintentionally, but I also know I don’t want to be defined by those mistakes.  I truly believe that if we can look for the best qualities in others, it will not only help us to be less critical, it will allow others to overcome their weaknesses and learn from their mistakes.

2.  I try to live by the quote in the book, “Girl Wash Your Face” by Rachel Hollis, (which I highly recommend) that says, “If you are unhappy, that’s on you.”  It’s such a good reminder that we should always take charge of our lives; what defines who we are and how we want to live!       

3.  We live in a world of instant gratification, where seemingly little effort is required to get ahead, but there’s just something to be said for putting in the hard work.  It sounds cliché, but the early mornings and long nights worked as you devote your life to reaching your goals really do build a special strength in character.  I always strive to have at least one aspiration, whether it be physical, mental or spiritual, that I work hard for every day, because when I accomplish it, there’s truly no better feeling…and it’s great incentive to achieve even more!  

With this great outlook, I’d say Lauren has a bright future ahead!

(Lauren Huff, 2018 Nursing Graduation at Weber State University) 

One of my favorite television news contributors is Ed Henry, Chief National Correspondent on the Fox News Station.  He seems to take pride in the delivery of news information without making it biased to his own personal views.  I recently became even more enamored with him when I read about an interview he did once where he was the one being questioned, and his wise response to being asked about how the general public could be better news consumers so they could make more informed decisions, politically and otherwise, came without hesitation.  He said,  “I’ve always felt that if people were even 10% more attentive to others and the world around them than they currently are, we’d be a much happier population.”  My interpretation of this sage advice is that if we are willing to take time to look outside ourselves more and serve one another to the best of our ability, we’d be able to better offer some of the basic kind gestures that are so necessary for all of us to really thrive in this life!

Ed Henry, Chief News Correspondent for Fox New

(Ed Henry via Fox News Channel)

Perhaps some of the best advice to heed for those of us who are hibernating to a certain degree during the wintry month of January, is to take advantage of this time to look around and truly ponder the beauty of this glorious world we live in…even when it’s adorned in snow drifts!

Snow drifts in Utah.

“Like the whole earth, we must rest and be quiet.”    Isaiah

And lastly, several years ago when I was going through some of my mom’s files, I came across an old newspaper clipping she had saved written by the late renown columnist, Ann Landers.  I love the witty way Ms. Lander’s had of putting common sense ideas into clever quips that always leave you nodding in agreement as you read them, while at the same time vowing to somehow implement every last tidbit of wisdom into your daily habits.  I still have the original article folded in the back of my personal journal so I can pull it out and reread it on occasion when I’m at odds with myself.  I’ve made a modified version of it for you to download and make a copy for when you’re feeling the need for a little positive reboot in your life!

Advice For A New Year by Ann Landers

Make a copy HERE.

Please share any sage advice that helped you when you needed it most in your life!    

Best wishes to you all for a blessed and happy new year!

–Mary

Holiday Happiness!

Holiday Happiness!

Expectations and stress seem to increase in the weeks leading up to Christmas day…we need to make the perfect meals, wear the perfect clothes, and of course, buy the perfect gifts!  While it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that holiday happiness lies in the art of celebrating it perfectly, I’m finally realizing that true happiness during the holidays comes from some surprising places that are wonderfully imperfect!  I truly believe that holiday happiness is as simple as reassessing our priorities so that we are not only happier this holiday season, but are better at spreading the joy too!

Christmas happiness.

Creating Holiday Happiness!

Some people may grumble and gripe about the holidays–too much family, too much food, too many obligations…but what if we concentrated more on creating special memories and making deeper connections with those we love and associate with, perhaps then, the holiday season would become more synonymous with true happiness for each of us!

♦  This time of year always reminds me of the year my father was diagnosed with leukemia in the early weeks of December nearly twenty years ago.  It gets me thinking about how impermanent life can be.  Holiday happiness can be as simple as realizing that we may not know for sure who will be around the table next year.

So let’s be sure to:

· Invite family over and savor their company.

· Find one thing to appreciate about every person we are with.

· Share a funny or poignant memory of a time you spent together.

· Allow them to do the same for you.

♦  Rather than be harried and impatient as we check off our holiday “To Do” list, let’s focus more on the goodness of others this time of year!  I loved that my mother always seemed to see something greater in me that I saw in myself.  If someone is seen as special and gifted in some capacity, they often rise to the occasion.  Why not treat people as we would want to be treated ourselves…we might be amazed by the responses.  This is a gift we can give others that will keep on giving all year long–perhaps even a lifetime!

Wayne Dyer quote.

♦  Building upon past successes is a sure way to bring about holiday happiness.  Understanding our strengths and how to leverage them is key to achieving more in less time with less work–and for me, that is the epitome of holiday happiness!  Santa doesn’t reinvent the wheel each year, he knows the things he does well and sticks with them!  Enjoy your holiday traditions, but have reasonable expectations of yourself and others…that’s not to say you can’t change things up a bit on occasion!

(My grandmother used to hang this same Norman Rockwell picture in the entryway of her home during the holidays.  As a child, I loved seeing how happy Santa seemed to be as he made something special for each boy and girl.  By sharing holiday happiness with others, we can truly capture the magical feeling of this season!)

Norman Rockwell Santa

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony!”  Mahatma Gandhi

♦  Keeping the right focus on this wonderful time of year helps us devote more of our time and energy to our faith, family and friends…after all, isn’t that what Christmas is really all about?  Do the things that you and your family love to do together during the holidays.  This season really can be a time of true happiness and fulfillment as we focus on the things that make it such a special one to celebrate!

Temple Square nativity.

“And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and singing glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, goodwill towards men.”    Luke 2:13-14

Christmas all year long.

May an abundance of happiness be yours during this special season! 

I’d love to know what Christmas traditions make you happiest. 

–With love, Mary

Social Media Savvy And Safety For All Generations!

Social Media Savvy And Safety!

Like it or not, our society is heavily impacted by social media.  While those of my generation may long to see our younger counterparts build the mainstay of their relationships from friendships formed at work, school or church…like we did back in the day…there’s a lot to be said for the positive aspects of the ever mounting popularity of cyberspace–as long as we continually educate ourselves on using it wisely, that is, and protecting ourselves against the negative effects it can have on our lives–no matter our age!

Social media balance.

“Technology is a useful servant, but a dangerous master!”  Christian Lange

I don’t think it is news to anyone that the world wide web is a place where a lot of information, chances for social interaction, and entertainment are easily found.  Technology has also revolutionized the workplace–where often showing up for work simply means grabbing your laptop off your bedside table and working from the comforts of your home.  Virtual entertainment has quickly become the “go-to” for anyone wanting to play games or watch videos.  Online instructions have also become a fairly reputable resource for a wide range of lessons from simple household DIY’s to classes in cross-fit training.  But all this aside…it still takes a certain amount of savvy to navigate the internet safely and balance it properly in our lives so we don’t let it waste valuable time.  Certainly, nothing should ever replace the meaningful impact of reaching out personally to sustain valuable relationships with those who make life so fulfilling and worthwhile!

Maxine computer cartoon.

Bridging The Computer Literacy Gap!

While it may be true that tech developers tend to mostly target the younger population with their campaign ads, current research from the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) is quick to point out that the older generation isn’t as apathetic or fearful of current computer trends as once believed.  In fact, they report that since 2009 there has been a steady rise in the number of people 65 years of age and older who regularly use email and Skype to communicate with family members, and nearly 70% now use social media sites like LinkedIn and Facebook to stay informed about job news and health information.  Many seniors are finding that they feel less isolated by being able to connect with the outside world via the internet.  Computer games have also been found to be very beneficial in improving the memories and sequencing abilities of elderly people.  I guess if you can’t beat ’em–you might as well join ’em…right?!
CS Lewis quote.

Insights From An Expert!

For further, more in-depth insight on this subject, I’ve turned to someone I consider an expert in the field of computers…in fact, my friend, Leslie, actually holds the title of School Technology Specialist in our local school district–not only is she a computer wizard extraordinaire, she currently oversees the internet use and safety of over 100 staff members and 1,500 students…so obviously she is very qualified to address this topic.  Leslie is quick to point out that despite your age and level of computer competency, there are certain internet rules and behaviors that apply across the board.

While Leslie admits that it may seem a bit intimidating to keep pace with the ever accelerating pace of all the innovative technology tools available to us, she maintains that social media is a force to be reckoned with and has become an integral part of our daily habits and the preferred means to communicate and share our lives with others.  “Used correctly, social media can be a great resource to uplift, inspire and improve someone’s day .”  

The Far Reaching Effect Of Social Media!   

In discussing the topic of social media, Leslie reminded me of the far reaching effect and positive influence that an online presence can afford each of us.

the-power-of-social-media-1-638

♦  Social media helps us engage with one another.  Sharing highlights of our lives can enhance and deepen our relationships with those who live far away.  Besides Facebook and Instagram, the more popular online forums for keeping in touch with family and friends, people also have the ability to set up a variety of private social media groups on every possible topic imaginable;  ie. virtual book clubs, current event discussion groups, neighborhood and school information boards, to name a few.

♦  Our internet participation has the power to educate and empower!  When using social media we might want to ask ourselves these questions:  “How can we use time spent on our devices to become more productive citizens?  How can we use social media to improve ourselves and our communities?   In contemplating these questions, we can’t help but come to realize that social media helps us better understand that we are global citizens, and we can learn to work together to solve world problems.

  Our online interactions give us a chance to encourage and uplift!  Social media tools give us the chance to stand for truth and goodness.  We can voice approval for causes and movements that uplift and edify.  Setting a positive example via the internet can help move the dialogue more towards decency and civility–which is so crucial in this day and age of seemingly endless negative online sparring.

♦  Social media has the power to amplify our voice on issues that affect our lives.  If we’re looking to expand and encourage the positive impact  of online interactions, we need to understand that the accounts that rise to the top and get the most exposure are the ones that get the most likes and shares.  We can help encourage goodness by supporting people who are using their social media outlets to encourage and inspire.
Have a voice online.

“Example, good or bad, has a powerful influence.”  George Washington

Social Media–A Cautionary Tale!

Leslie also admonishes that an important responsibility for each of us, as far as our online usage is concerned, is to continually educate ourselves and keep updated on the social, ethical and legal ramifications at stake as they relate to the ever evolving digital culture.

♦  Play it safe!  Remember that social media is a public domain, so as we maneuver our way along the internet information superhighway, protecting our personal information on the sites we use has become more important than ever before.  Most online platforms give you the option to share a great deal about yourself, however it doesn’t mean you need to fill them out.  Consider a general version of the information requested, for example…list only your state of residency rather than both city and state to make it harder for others to figure out exactly where you live.  Create strong passwords using a combination of words and numbers, upper and lowercase letters and specific characters that are easy for you to remember.  You might even want to keep a log of these passwords in a special journal that is not located by the devices you frequently use.  Another important factor to consider is the privacy settings on any social media outlet.  Take the time to explore these privacy guidelines and create a custom list of people who are allowed to view specific posts.

Being safe on the internet information freeway.

“Caution is the parent of safety.”   Proverb

Be aware that there are folks out there who are using social media for nefarious reasons, so be vigilant!  There are pieces of personal information that you should never, ever post.  These include your Social Security number, driver’s license, bank account information and your specific whereabouts.  Don’t make it easier for ill-meaning people to take advantage of you.

A few other cautionary safety points to take into consideration for all ages: block inappropriate websites, never talk to strangers, and beware of “free” offers…they can infect your computer with an online virus.  The best protection for online safety is having a decent internet security site that blocks unsafe links and checks every download for signs of malware.  (The computer specialist my husband employs suggests using a product like, Kaspersky Total Security or Spybot since they allow you the ability to monitor your whole network from your PC and adjust the security settings of each computer individually.)          

And finally, always log out from any device when you are finished using it–especially if it’s a public computer.  Log out of your private devices from time to time, as well, to ensure that other people can’t access your social profile to change personal settings or information, attack friends, or make slanderous comments to embarrass or harass you.  Sadly, this is more common than we’d like to realize in today’s society.

♦  Keep It Real!  No doubt about it, we live in a world that tends to tap into our competitive natures, which can lend itself to people wanting to embellish facts about themselves. When I was growing up, my parents often took the opportunity to say, “Remember who you are…and conduct yourself accordingly!”  This doesn’t mean that we can’t learn and grow as individuals in real life–and project that online, but conducting ourselves one way in person and another way on the internet just seems disingenuous.  Besides, people are smart and eventually they catch on…then like the popular Aesop’s fable about the boy that cried wolf, eventually no one will believe anything you say!  This doesn’t mean you have to share all your warts, (however, it can be somewhat cathartic on occasion if done in good taste) but like the old adage goes, honesty is always the best policy!  And while we’re at it, let’s be each other’s cyber cheerleaders, sharing the love, so to speak, when others achieve a goal or work hard to jump one of life’s hard hurdles…in my opinion, that is when the online community is at its best!
Be real quote.As social media consumers, we also need to be engaged and check sources of information we read online, identifying falsehoods and misinformation.  In a recent interview, Apple CEO, Tim Cook, said, “Some social media tools are unwisely used to divide people and manipulate them–to get fake news out to people in broad numbers, wrongly influencing their thinking based on nothing but made-up conjectures.” 

Social Meial Savvy and Safety For All Generations!

♦  Follow the “Golden Rule” of cyberspace.  Good behavior should be taught in our homes, and this applies to computer use too.  Decide as a family what rules you want applied to computer and social media use.  As adults we should emulate the kind of online behavior we want our children to have.  Here is a good rule of thumb for everyone to incorporate in their everyday internet conduct:
The golden rules of cyberspace. (Check out more do’s and don’t to a positive social media experience here.)

My husband, who is not a social media kind of guy, always cautioned our kids with this advice:
Be careful what you say online quote.Obviously, there are times and places that are appropriate for being online…we show our level of maturity and consideration by knowing when it’s time to unplug and be “present” in our daily lives!  My dad lived by the motto “moderation in all things” and perhaps in these modern times, there’s no area where we should apply this mindset more than in our daily internet habits!

Internet savvy cartoon..

“A computer screen limits your real life experiences!   John le Carre

I like the wisdom Leslie shared as she concluded her email to me on the role social media should play in our lives…

“We are more than capable of giving our internet use the proper priority it should take in our lives to avoid the easy distraction it can become from family, relationships and obligations.  It is important to keep a realistic perspective about social media.  Why let it have the power to have a negative impact on the way we feel about ourselves and the wonderful lives we lead.  Yes, we see friends posting pictures of great trips, lovely families, and beautiful lifestyles, and it makes it look like they have amazing lives every minute of every day.  We often forget that they are posting their highlight reels!”  

Perfectly said, Leslie.  Thanks so much for sharing your expertise on this important subject with us!

What are some ways you’ve found that help you strike a good balance with social media use in your lives? 

–Love, Mary